Serving God or man?

Am I serving my God or man?


I’ve recently been caught up doing some work for the church, which never in my years of being alive would think of doing. It’s because it’s a totally new area for me which I had never dwelled in and have always thought it best to avoid. But sometimes, God has a funny sense of humour on how best to expand our horizons; and at the same time push you to the edge of the cliff.

So I embarked on a road I’ve never traveled, one full of doubt and even fear, totally not knowing what to expect… and hanging onto Him every moment of the way. As the popular saying goes,

‘If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it’, this He surely did. But is ‘going through it’ enough?

I always believe that if I were to do something for God, it has to be done in the spirit of excellence. After 2 and half months of going through this roller-coaster ride, I was more than ready to get off and also to see the finished product of the project. Just when I thought I was done, I went southbound off the cliff.

Power of the Sea (Explored 2/27/12)

All it took was just one more suggestion and a less-than-impressed comment. Just ONE, and that was it.

“I quit. – I quit! ….. I quit.”

Each suggestion and comment suddenly felt like huge boulders being added on my back, when I am already on my elbows and knees.

I have given all I had (all I never knew I had), and after weeks of hanging on, my arms were quite tired, so I let go. Negative emotions swallowed me – doubt, anger, insecurities. Questions like ‘For what?’, ‘Why did I even start?’, ‘What did I get myself into?’

As I was wallowing, these questions also came: ‘For whom?’ ‘Who knows and who sees me best?’ ‘Isn’t He worth it? Worth more?’ ‘If it all came from Him, then what have I to be prideful of?’ ‘What is He trying to show me?’

morning sun rays

I already have all the answers. That night, I repented of my shallow pride and sought for humility. I shall heed His challenge and complete the project at hand. Though the end product does not look as good as I had planned when I started it, God knows I have given my all. Who knows… I might even go back to it once more to make some improvements when I level up in my game.

Dear Lord, all that I have is from You and for You. Check my heart constantly to ensure that the work of my hands and my mind do not betray my love for You. Search me and keep me humble daily so that all my deeds will bring glory to You alone. Amen.

holding hands

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are.

(Who am I – Counting Crows)

Isaiah 41:13 New International Version (NIV)

13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,

“Do not fear; I will help you.”

1 Samuel 16:6-7 New International Version (NIV)

6 When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.”

7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Mom to 3 lils, homemaker, freelance watercolour and calligraphy artist, works fulltime flexi-hour at home online.

Li-Ann Choong

Mom to 3 lils, homemaker, freelance watercolour and calligraphy artist, works fulltime flexi-hour at home online.
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