My Grandmother’s Fried Rice

Editor’s note: Prepare tissues folks!

Yesterday as I was preparing for lunch for the kids, I decided to make fried rice; the one that I used to make when I was a kid taught by my grandmother.

The Past

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As I was preparing the ingredients, my thoughts went back to the time when I was a kid – how I used to have to peel the shallots and to ‘tumbuk’ the ingredients into a paste to fry the rice with. I was thanking God that nowadays we have the food processor to help with this kitchen chore; things are so much easier now.

As I was finishing up the dish, I was conscious that my mind has started to think about my late grandma. I was washing up when suddenly, unwanted tears started to form and fall.

The Hurts

Memories of my broken childhood flooded my mind; negative words, name calling and curses that were spoken about me by my grandmother in Hokkien over and over again, how useless I was.

BLACK SHEEP

I was to be blamed for this and that, etc. I used to feel very depressed because I was the one who helped out the most in the house with laundry from washing to ironing everyone’s clothes, with marketing to cooking and cleaning up.

I felt like a black sheep in my own family and I couldn’t understand why I was blamed for things when I didn’t know what I did wrong at all. The words ‘You don’t belong here’ has some kind of magical strings attached to my memory even though I have cut it off multiple times. I was about 11 years old at that time; if only someone had sat down with me and talked to me about all this.

Now, Future and Beyond

Fast forward to now, I suppose it must’ve been the scent from the fried rice which had brought about these flashbacks. The tears? It was for the unloved, broken child who had silently cried for help but no one heard. Was I dwelling in self-pity?

Holding
Yes, I think I was; pitying myself for all the things that I have done for the family when I was young and not getting any appreciation from it but got lashings and curses instead.

After several minutes, I steadied my aching heart. My mind still with thoughts of all the negative things thrown at me. I started to focus on who I am now:-

a child of God (Gal 4:7, 1 John 5:1);

wonderfully and fearfully made (Psa 139:14) ;

known and called by my name even before I was born (Jer 1:5);

created for a purpose (Jer 29:11);

loved no matter what (Isa 54:10);

protected (Psa 121:3); forgiven (1 John 1:9); belonged! (Eph 2:19)

candy
and most importantly; my past is no longer mine and I should no longer access it anymore – for it has been purchased with a high price when I accepted Christ as my Friend and Saviour. https://exceedingfaith.com/purchased-blood-jesus/

Skógafoss

Because of God, today I am freed from my past hauntings. I have Joy in me, I have Love to share with those around me, I am not battered or depressed or suicidal because I have his Peace in me and I know I have a future. I cannot imagine how life would be without this saving grace.

Mom to 3 lils, homemaker, freelance watercolour and calligraphy artist, works fulltime flexi-hour at home online.

Li-Ann Choong

Mom to 3 lils, homemaker, freelance watercolour and calligraphy artist, works fulltime flexi-hour at home online.

Discussion

  1. Fong Kar Mun

    Very encouraged and inspired from the writing that is filled with hope of God! I think the song below alligned with the write shared. Be encouraged!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxmDMqc15Ak

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